Ever picked up weird vibes from being around somebody? I guess we’ve all encountered them at times. When I experience them, I always try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. The first thing I tend to do is try to check my own heart to see if I’m the one who has caused the sense of weirdness. For example, have I said something inappropriate? Is my demeanour awkward? Is my body language defensive? Have I hit a raw nerve in something I’ve asked about? Is it the way I’m looking, sounding, smiling? Maybe the the other person is going through something in their life which I have no idea about? The questions could go on and on. BUT the danger of this kind of internal questioning is that it can quickly change from healthy self-awareness to unhealthy paranoia. Sure, no doubt there are times when I can be the cause of weird vibes – but not always.
One of the weirdest vibes you’ll ever encounter is when you’re talking to someone who is beside you – but they’re not really ‘present’ with you. In other words, they are distracted as they constantly glance around to see who else might pass by. They’re poised to make a quick exit in order to take advantage of a better opportunity. That’s just how some people live their lives. But for me, this is weird. As soon as I pick up on this kind of vibe, I tend to disengage from the ‘conversation’ because I’m not willing to be treated as second class. I try to give anyone I talk to my full attention no-matter who they are – and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect anything less in return.
Anyway, there’s not much you can do about other people. But you can do something about YOU. Here are eight ways you can try to protect yourself from giving off weird vibes:
1) BE FRIENDLY – It’s not rocket science. Just be friendly and approachable. This really helps.
2) SPEAK POSITIVELY – Set the tone. If you’re ‘weird’ for not gossiping and backbiting, that’s not such a bad thing. Just keep it all positive.
3) AVOID INTENSITY – The shallow end of the conversation pool is underrated. It’s always better to make your way to the deep end from there. Do shallow really well. This is about connecting on the same level. Take your time before making ‘best friends’. Far better that way.
4) BE SELF AWARE – Make sure you’re not the cause of weird vibes. See the questions I asked myself above.
5) RESPECT BOUNDARIES – Learn to read people quickly. Overstepping their personal boundaries of space and tactilty is the surest way to provoke antagonism. So be sure to read and respect this.
6) ASK QUESTIONS – You can tell far more about someone by the questions they ask than the statements they make. So ask great questions.
7) LISTEN WELL – After you ask a question, LISTEN to the answer!!!! It might not be the answer you want. But that’s not the point. It’s all about listening well to others. The lack of this is a definite cause of weird vibes!
8) TAKE INTEREST – Remembering details that people mention to you is HOW you build real and genuine connection into their hearts. This means taking genuine interest in those you do life with.